As I have mentioned in previous posts, I've struggled with emotional eating. Thanks to EFT and circling back to Callanetics to tone up my body, I've encountered a lot of success this time, and I am experiencing more freedom from the forces inside that dragged me back into compulsive eating and an all too familiar climb back up the scale.
I won't say where I am at with my weight, because life is not a contest. Everyone's body is different and what may be a healthy weight for your height and frame may not work for me or anyone else, and that's okay.
I'll only say that I haven't been in this good of shape since high school or college. I may possibly be better than I was, because unlike back then, I have eliminated a lot of things from my food plan that were not good for me.
I also manage an underactive thyroid because of Hashimoto's through medication and keeping on top of nutrient deficiencies that stem from having a tweaked autoimmune system, such as selenium and magnesium. I'm certainly less depressed and anxious than I was during my adolescence, which I know is likely also from adolescent hormone swings; however, I've questioned for quite some time if Hashimoto's may have made things worse without my knowing it.
Nobody could have made that guess given I showed very few if any symptoms, and there are so many reasons teens can feel depression or anxiety. Nobody is to blame here.
But, circling back to today... I get comments on my weight loss a lot. They started a few months ago, when I'd get one or two "Have you lost weight? You look good!" remarks. Eventually, they've increased to where I hear at least once per week, "You're so skinny!" These usually come from the same people.
I've grown to hate the word skinny because of these comments. It does not help when the person uttering the word does so with a curled lip, a sneer, or spits the word out as if they're tasting warm beer.
I also hate the word because it implies I'm underweight. I'm not. I am not only in a healthy BMI range, but my muscle mass, bone density, and fat percentage are all good, based on a scale I use that measures these components. I do this because I used to have a very distorted body image and I did at one time starve myself to achieve a certain number on the scale. I don't want that anymore.
I don't only look at the number that represents my gravitational pull to the earth in pound measurements. I want to make sure that number represents good health.
This is why I incorporated exercise into my regime when I was ready. I know it's not enough to eat well. I don't want to end up with osteoporosis, heart disease, diabetes, or other health problems when I'm old because I didn't keep up my muscle mass, and if I end up with one or more of these when I'm in my senior years, I don't want to be kicking myself because I didn't at least try.
The exercises I do using Callanetics gives me lean muscle and has sculpted me to where I'm wearing smaller sizes than when I was the same weight earlier in life. I am aware this is probably why some people are making remarks about me being "so skinny!"
That's also why I wish people wouldn't make such comments, because I guarantee their guesses are wrong. Not even a doctor will make a pronouncement about how much they think you weigh by sight, because they know the only way to be right is to watch you step on a scale... and even then, they would sooner measure your body fat, bone frame, and consider other factors before they tell you if that scale is telling the truth about whether you're healthy. If they don't, then insist on it. Mine was happy to do that for me at my last physical.
I asked one friend how much she thought I weighed when she scolded me to stop losing. She was off - way off. As in she thought I was 30 pounds less than I really was. Even now, with my having achieved my goal, her guess would still be way off.
"Guess My Weight" is a carnival game for a reason, and it should stay there for good reason. We have become a society of judging on sight, and that only serves to alienate and cause hatred. When was the last time you saw people unite in a truly joyful, amicable utopia after telling some girl, "Go eat a sandwich, you skinny bitch"?
If you have seen that happen, please tell me where so I know to avoid that place, because that's not the world in which I want to live.
How have you allowed preconceived notions about body types and weight to influence the way you see and judge others? What can you do using discernment and accountability to change that? Can you rise to the challenge of allowing yourself to get to know someone whose appearance alone would normally prevent you from extending kindness or friendship?